1. I’m fucking up. That’s all I have to say about that.

  2. Gatsby

    I’ve been gone for a minute loves but I had good reason. I just got back from a family reunion cruise to the Bahamas. It was SO good to get out of cold ass Chicago.

    Can I be honest with y’all? I’m in a really good place emotionally right now. I can almost pretend to be normal. I like that feeling. I feel guilty that I like that feeling, but I do. So I’m gonna go ride this wave for as long as I can and of course y’all know you can hit me up anytime cuz you’re not alone. 

    Goodness I hope this post isn’t followed by one detailing how my good mood was just mania :-/ happy sunday loves!

  3. I realize…

    I didn’t do a Sunday post but Southern Purpose I am right here with you and you can do this. I’m in your corner, I know exactly how you feel. I know you can’t control all that’s in your head right now but just ride it out. It’s all hell until it’s heaven. 

  4. Waiting

    Doing the best I can with what I have and waiting on my world to change because of it. This is the story of my life. Happy Sunday my loves. KEEP GOING. 

  5. infinitenap:

    NOT

    omg forever reblog. 

  6. Love and Bipolarity

    I lost my last girlfriend because of bipolar. I’m not saying that we were perfect for each other. Hell, if I’m being honest I’m not even sure that we were good together, but I know that a large part of our conflict occurred because she couldn’t quite wrap her mind around the things I did. I know she loved me as much as she could but still, I never missed the look on her face when I would get really angry at what seemed like nothing, or when I would go into a complete crying fit for no reason. It made me feel horrible that the only thing I could say to explain my behavior was “I’m bipolar and the shit happens.”

    That bothered me then and it bothers me now. I’m no shrek so there are always people interested in me, but now more than ever I am reluctant to take anything too far for fear of how they’ll respond when I’m at my ugliest. And we all know that episodes can get preeetty ugly. And they’re only made worse when the fear of losing love because of them is factored in.

    I have a friend that I talk to often and I tell him all the time that the person who is for me is going to have to be a really strong person. Because there are times when even I can’t handle me. And if I’m too much for myself it seems selfish for me to expect love. I’d appreciate it if you guys would save your “you’re awesome” speeches because the reality is I know that already but sometimes I don’t feel that.

    It’s all very scary, the idea of not having someone to love, but my hope comes from knowing that even if my mind resists love my heart never does. I figure it’s gambling for me because it knows better than I do what’s possible. 

    But still, I wonder who will be the one who won’t turn away. Who will be the one brave enough to engage in fairy tale loving with an imperfect damsel. Who will be the one who stays.

    I love yous guys! Have a dope week!

  7. I’m rapid cycling. This shit SUX. Someone turn off my brain please. 

  8. Wake up

    Waking up while on Lithium has to be one of the most sucky experiences ever. It feels like I’m not in the right body, and it takes almost an hour for the feeling to go away. I’m all tingly and “why am I here” about my situation. Nevertheless, this is the med that works the best for me (in combination with Prozac) so I deal. Still, I wish I felt like me in the mornings.

  9. Nightmares and Nothing at All

    This morning I woke up calling out for my mom. I had a nightmare. Those are coming more and more frequently. Times like these I wish there was money for therapy. But in a land where it takes an 8 hour emergency room visit to get a prescription refill you come out of the wish a nigga woods pretty quickly. At least I do. Idk guys I wish I had something more interesting to discuss but I think y’all feel me when I say that during the winter I tend to involuntarily use all my energy to stay alive. This has left me empty and unable to focus. I’ll be good soon though. Days are getting longer. Thank GOD.

  10. Sunday Comes

    and I get to talk to you guys. That’s a blessing :-) My life is pretty much the same. Definitely not in the best place but I’m here. You know, often times I wonder what the end is going to be. I’m a firm believer in the idea that what is for you will be for you no matter what happens in life so I catch myself trying to rush to the end. I guess I feel like if I know some shit is gonna work out I’ll move with a bit more purpose. 

    My challenge, for this reason, has been patience. I’m so ready for everything to be new and great that I forget that the journey is the destination.

    I need not do that.

    Talk to me family. What are some of your biggest challenges when dealing with mental illness and life? I wan hear from you!

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